Difficult conversation rehearsal
If you are worried about a learner's safety or wellbeing, follow the college's safeguarding procedure straight away. This tool is not the place for that.
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Say why you are talking, early
The hardest part is the first ten seconds. Say what you have noticed, plainly and without blame, so the other person is not left guessing what this is about.
For example“I wanted five minutes because the last two deadlines slipped.”
Pick an activity. Each takes two or three minutes.
Open, listen, close, write it up. Four steps, in your own words.
Why this works in your room
A conversation you have rehearsed starts better and ends with a next step.
For your learners: They hear early why you are talking, they are listened to before they are told, and they leave knowing what happens next.
For you: You go in with your first line ready, so you are not finding the words while the other person is upset.
Open
The first ten seconds
Say why you are talking, plainly and without blame.
“I wanted five minutes because the last two deadlines slipped.”
Listen
Before you explain
Let them finish. Say back what you heard.
“Let me make sure I have it right.”
Close
One next step, and a date
Who does what, and when you speak again.
“So you will send the draft by Friday, and we will talk on Monday.”
Write it up
The same day
What was said, what was agreed, the date.
Add a pastoral note if it touches the learner's wellbeing.
Elsewhere in Bradford ThreadWorks
Prompts to paste into Copilot
Two prompts to paste into Copilot. They are our own wording, not Big 4 training. Change what is in brackets, and leave out learners' names.
Rehearse it out loud
Play the part of a [learner / parent / colleague] who is [upset / defensive / quiet]. I am a college tutor and I need to talk about [the issue, no names]. Reply as they might, one turn at a time, and wait for me. After five turns, tell me what I did well and one thing to change.
My opening line, three ways
I need to start a conversation with a [learner / parent / colleague] about [the issue, no names]. Write three opening lines, each under 25 words: one direct, one warm, one that starts with a question. None should blame.
Start from what happened, not whose fault
A widely used guide to hard conversations advises describing what happened in words both people could agree with, before saying what you think it means. That is the first ten seconds on the sheet.
Stone, Patton and Heen, Difficult Conversations (Penguin, first published 1999)
How sure is this?
Not very. The book above is established practice, not trial evidence, and no study says which opening line works. That is why nothing here is marked right or wrong: each sentence shows what it may help and what it may cost.
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In your room
If the conversation touches a learner's safety or wellbeing, it is not one to handle alone. Follow the college's safeguarding procedure, and talk to your line manager.
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